A Stifle Of Creativity

trauma

 For anyone who has followed my corner of WordPress (which is highly doubtful, considering I am fairly uninteresting with a lack of talent), it may be noticeable that I haven’t written for months on here. That is down to every writer’s favourite writer’s block, the stifle of creativity that causes any inventive thinking to be shadowed by blankness or anything other than the desired content to write about.

I am a person who writes regularly in my own time – writing fiction every day. However, due to recent events, I have been unable to find the time nor the imagination to spare to write anything, aside from the odd chapter here and there of poor quality.

This saddens me, as writing and creative thinking is one of my passions. I want to pursue media, to write music videos, and – my life-long childhood dream – publish a book of my own, preferably a novel. The days when I’m not writing make me feel disappointed and wasted, as if the imaginative part of myself – one of my greatest qualities – is crumbling and drowning the longer it takes me to get it done.

I have just taken the decision to quit the apprenticeship I started a month ago. I’m not right for it for several reasons, though one of the main ones is that it is for a career that doesn’t use any creativity. It is instead repeated tasks for long hours, which makes me too tired to think when I do have a spare opportunity to write for myself. I tried my hardest with the apprenticeship, I really did. Though I wasn’t enjoying myself, I was desperate to prove I wasn’t going to give up and could finish what I started. It slowly became more impossible until now, when I have realised the importance of being creative to myself. I want to indulge in what I love: writing. I want to also keep doing it frequently and improve myself, and make myself better at something I already feel is a strong area of mine.

Though I’m sure no one is reading this, and it isn’t interesting, but I feel it’s important for me to make a start somewhere for myself. I don’t want to lose myself. I want to get myself back again.

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