Once again, I use a prompt post as a way for me to get personal. This blog wasn’t even intended to be a truly personal delve into my thoughts and ideas on life but I couldn’t resist the topic once the prompt was present.
It may not be truly archaic but it almost feels that way now: I don’t feel comfortable with the idea of many sexual partners until you find your true partner.
It is usual in society to freely have sex with people, many often engaging in sexual activity only hours after meeting, with no plans for the future or to even see one another again. These one night stands wouldn’t have been a thing in the past , as a hundred years ago they would have been considered truly shocking and not at all the way to behave. Though I am not yet twenty, I have to agree.
The idea of sleeping with someone who was unwilling to plan their life with me, have children with me or even marry me is repulsive. Why on earth would I share such intimacies with someone who would most likely disappear in the morning only to never be seen again? Why would I allow someone I had no trust for to be with my at my most vulnerable?
Of course, I completely understand why society now is a good thing – the freedom, the feminism, the field work. Who would want to be confined into a tiny box, never allowed to express their sexuality or figure out what kind of person they are? If the person who reads this opposes my opinion and enjoys their sexual freedom, then that’s perfectly fine, I’m not going to insult you. Yet for me, personally, I couldn’t do it. I’m not the kind of person who would willingly expose myself to someone who has no in-depth interest in me or vice versa.
I suppose I’m old fashioned, I’m a prude. Maybe I have too much respect for myself (or too much cynicism towards most people in the world) to consider such actions that are deemed ‘normal’ by today’s standards. I couldn’t allow myself to get my feelings confused and go through the agony of wondering whether or not that person truly wanted me after we have done the deeds, or would have liked me had they considered attempting to get to know me as a person. I couldn’t allow the risk of getting pregnant with someone’s child when they wouldn’t have any interest in children with me or having children at all (my deal breaker). I couldn’t let myself become sick, either, should this person I have no trust or bond with have an illness that could be passed on through sexual intercourse.
I sound morbid but it’s true. There’s too many risks and there’s too many emotions attached, particularly for me as a person who finds it too easy to become emotionally attached. To lighten the tone of my post (my doubts cast towards flings), I prefer to think of it as waiting for the right person. I may be young but I know there are things, and people, that are worth the wait, and I intend to continue to do so rather than give myself so freely all in the name of half an hour of enjoyment.
(I know I sound so cynical but I try to write this as optimistically as I can)