My List Of Some Of The Worst Things About OCD

This is from my perspective, since everyone with OCD has different obsessions and compulsions, which means different behaviours and different types of OCD. I would have written this in a more formal form rather than a bullet-point list but I feel I could talk far too much about OCD and my experiences with it.

  • Despising specific numbers, letters and names, and having to avoid then
  • Being unable to escape the specific numbers, letters and names because they’re everywhere
  • Being unable to read a book without reading the numbers on each of the pages
  • Being unable to pick up food or other packets or boxes without reading all the numbers
  • Being unable to walk around a shop because the prices are in a font so clear to see that it’s unavoidable
  • Looking weird to other people when you have to do a ritual in public so you’re muttering to yourself and tracing numbers into your legs
  • Getting annoyed with people who keep reading out or saying trigger words because it feels like people are doing it on purpose
  • Rituals getting gradually more long as time passes or anxiety increases
  • Doing the rituals wrong, or thinking you have, and having to repeat them over and over until you do it right
  • Being unable to eat, go to the bathroom or drink water until you’ve finished the long ritual
  • When people assume OCD is about being obsessed over cleaning when not everyone’s OCD behaviour includes hygiene rituals
  • When people think they have OCD because you tell them about your ritual and they say “I do that too sometimes” – you don’t have OCD so please don’t try to relate to me
  • When people tell you you look weird or it’s annoying when you’re doing a ritual when it’s really not avoidable (at least to yourself)
  • When people interrupt your rituals and you have to start over
  • When people interrupt your rituals and ask you why you’re doing something weird
  • Knowing the obsessions and compulsions are ridiculous but being unable to overcome it because it’s too ingrained into your life
  • When you fail to do a ritual correctly and something you are anxious about and trying to avoid actually happens, so it gives you more of an incentive to keep doing it
  • The anger when you repeatedly do a ritual wrong and you just want to scream, become violent or hit yourself
  • Feeling trapped in your mind, and the worthlessness that follows
  • The inability to concentrate because you keep seeing triggers or you’re thinking about things too much
  • When things you have arranged specifically are moved out of place and you have to put it back correctly before you can move on
  • When people move the things you have arranged specifically
  • When people move the things you have arranged specifically and they get annoyed that you have to get up to put them back in the right place
  • Praying hardcore constantly
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