My List Of Some Of The Worst Things About OCD

This is from my perspective, since everyone with OCD has different obsessions and compulsions, which means different behaviours and different types of OCD. I would have written this in a more formal form rather than a bullet-point list but I feel I could talk far too much about OCD and my experiences with it.

  • Despising specific numbers, letters and names, and having to avoid then
  • Being unable to escape the specific numbers, letters and names because they’re everywhere
  • Being unable to read a book without reading the numbers on each of the pages
  • Being unable to pick up food or other packets or boxes without reading all the numbers
  • Being unable to walk around a shop because the prices are in a font so clear to see that it’s unavoidable
  • Looking weird to other people when you have to do a ritual in public so you’re muttering to yourself and tracing numbers into your legs
  • Getting annoyed with people who keep reading out or saying trigger words because it feels like people are doing it on purpose
  • Rituals getting gradually more long as time passes or anxiety increases
  • Doing the rituals wrong, or thinking you have, and having to repeat them over and over until you do it right
  • Being unable to eat, go to the bathroom or drink water until you’ve finished the long ritual
  • When people assume OCD is about being obsessed over cleaning when not everyone’s OCD behaviour includes hygiene rituals
  • When people think they have OCD because you tell them about your ritual and they say “I do that too sometimes” – you don’t have OCD so please don’t try to relate to me
  • When people tell you you look weird or it’s annoying when you’re doing a ritual when it’s really not avoidable (at least to yourself)
  • When people interrupt your rituals and you have to start over
  • When people interrupt your rituals and ask you why you’re doing something weird
  • Knowing the obsessions and compulsions are ridiculous but being unable to overcome it because it’s too ingrained into your life
  • When you fail to do a ritual correctly and something you are anxious about and trying to avoid actually happens, so it gives you more of an incentive to keep doing it
  • The anger when you repeatedly do a ritual wrong and you just want to scream, become violent or hit yourself
  • Feeling trapped in your mind, and the worthlessness that follows
  • The inability to concentrate because you keep seeing triggers or you’re thinking about things too much
  • When things you have arranged specifically are moved out of place and you have to put it back correctly before you can move on
  • When people move the things you have arranged specifically
  • When people move the things you have arranged specifically and they get annoyed that you have to get up to put them back in the right place
  • Praying hardcore constantly
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Ultraviolence Review

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Unlike Lana Del Rey’s albums before, Born To Die and the Paradise EP, both of which consist of polished pop with a darker baroque and hip-hop edge, Ultraviolence strips back to the basics of music, using gritty instrumentals and a ‘live’ feel to the songs throughout it. Where Born To Die was maudlin with a touch of Lana’s self-proclaimed ‘gangsta Nancy Sinatra’ flair, Ultraviolence is a melancholic dream where even her brighter songs evade the typical pop quality and veer into something much darker yet more touching.

The album kicks off with the rollercoaster of a song Cruel World, a dizzying track that shifts with her mood from the calm verses to the raging choruses, all deftly timed with a thumping rhythm that paces the six minute or so track perfectly. Lana’s strong suit in Cruel World – and Ultraviolence itself – is the very real emotion she pushes into each song, particularly the opening track. Ranging from softly spoken despair to the taunting, babyish ‘Lolita’ style of vocals to barely controlled anger, Lana nails each of the emotions beautifully, conveying a woman who, as she puts it herself, is “fucking crazy”. The rich guitars add that kick of Americana, much like Ride from the Paradise EP but grimier. It’s a heavy slammer of a track but the perfect opening to her finest album, demonstrating the emotive vocals and heartfelt music to come.

Lana seems to be all about character throughout the album as she shifts from a woman gone “crazy” to beaten down jazz singer, held under the spell of her “cult leader” named ‘Jim’. Naturally, the song has had some controversy, accused of glamorising domestic abuse due to the loving nature of the song aimed towards a man who “hurt [her]”, yet I personally don’t believe that to be her intention – instead she is drawing on her own experiences with an ‘underground cult’. When it comes to the song, her vocals are admirable, as she once again manages to put her feelings into her voice and convey them perfectly to the listener, this time with the clever use of her distant and miserable vocals, the tearful pre-choruses and the slightly off-balanced way she sings of his “ultraviolence” throughout the chorus. It’s a difficult song to listen to, knowing the meanings behind what she says, but her pretty lines of “he used to call me DN, that stood for deadly nightshade” and “crying tears of gold like lemonade” show Lana’s prowess for imagery rather than blatancy. All of this, played under the steady beat of the drums which echo Cruel World and the shaking violins, create a touching song of terrible dedication, though the topic itself is a little too much for easy-listening.

Lana takes a slightly more experimental wander with Shades of Cool, opening the track with tentative guitars and her delicate voice, a musical interpretation of the way she tiptoes around her “baby”- a difficult man with an “unbreakable” heart. The carefulness of the song soon shifts to a wailing chorus of anguish and free-roaming vocals; it comes across as more of a demonstration of Lana’s vocal range yet it works. The highlight of the song is the bridge, a free-for-all for the guitars that drench her singing and completely shatter the gentleness of the beginning – a shift from the overly produced Born To Die and allowing the pure music to take a stand. Shades of Cool is an excellent showcase of Lana’s passion for the music.

Following Shades of Cool is the tribute to Lana’s place of birth, Brooklyn Baby, a satirical look at the Brooklyn scene. Where the first three songs are ice-cold tales of woe, Brooklyn Baby serves as a warmer track, the upbeat guitar and Lana’s cheerful lines of how she “can play almost anything” from her rare jazz collection shifting from dark to light. The lyrics may be narcissistic – and comically so – but they are charming in their own right, bringing the pop flair from Born To Die and even Aka Lizzy Grant but with pleasant guitars and a swaying beat perfect for the girl who “get[s] down to beat poetry”. Lana once again uses this song to showcase her unbeatable, soaring vocals – particularly in her pre-chourses with her lines of “I’m free” – expressing more than just a simple brag about how her boyfriend isn’t as cool as her. Still, the song works in it’s own self-absorbed way, and is undeniably one of her most breezy songs yet.

Lana brings us straight back to the kicking drums and gloomy guitars with West Coast, her restricted, too-cool vocals returning from their warm place in this steely track. Of course the best part of this song, as I seem to be fond of with all of her songs, are the music shifts, Lana’s verses going from quick-paced, breathless gasps of the West Coast to the dreamy choruses that will have you swaying in time as she sings, the clever transition using The Beatles’ And I Love Her sample, a small dedication to a great band Lana surely admires. It’s a brilliant song to feel lost in, particularly with the live feel of her lo-fi vocals and her “mic check one two” before the second verse, showing it’s not just a song but instead pure music.

Lana ramps up the heat with Sad Girl, seductive tale of the “mistress on the side” who has much admiration for the man who “walks with fame”, yet she still feels she is a “sad girl” ultimately for not having him as her own. It shows perfectly the glamorised image of the ‘other woman’ and how they are the “money on the side”, yet Lana cracks the “bad girl” image just slightly with the wretched tone that comes and goes throughout the song, though it’s difficult to feel pity for the woman she portrays. Whether based on real experiences or just a fun song, Lana’s controlled, lush vocals are brilliant and she knows precisely how to turn up the sex appeal within a mostly gloomy album.

One of the most emotionally driven songs on Ultraviolence is Pretty When You Cry, a completely lo-fi, one take song that keeps all of the imperfections to Lana’s singing – and uses them to bring on the heartbreak in her listeners. Lana’s shaky, unstable praises for “[her] love” clearly exhibit a distraught woman who, much like in Ultraviolence, is admired when she’s hurting. Pretty When You Cry is definitely powerful, with the fragile verses and powerful bridge that melts into a howling lament of how her tears make her beautiful, the guitars once again expressing her emotion much like in Shades of Cool. This track is a tearjerker but one of Lana’s best displays of emotion yet.

Money Power Glory shifts the tone of sadness to her more base desires – greed. The slow pace and chilled out vibe demonstrates perfectly what’s on her mind, which happens to be mere materialistic things, with perilous choruses that slips into threatening. It shows a more powerful Lana rather than a weeping mess from the song before, once again adding another character to the collection of personas throughout Ultraviolence. Personally, it’s not her strongest on the album, definitely the filler song I prefer to skip with her simplistic lyrics of “I want money, power and glory” and “dope and diamonds” that repeats throughout the bridge, but it’s far from her worst effort, instead bringing back the watered down “bad bitch” we have seen several times throughout her music in style.

Lana continues the idea of becoming powerful with one of her most sexually charged songs Fucked My Way Up To The Top, a homage to the idea that she slept with men in the industry to become successful – but also a dig at another singer. Lana’s sugary sweet mocking tied in with sneering remarks such as “I’m a dragon, you’re a whore, don’t even know what you’re good for” show a bitchy side I must admit is a light relief from the ‘sad girl’ she has so often sung as. The boredom in her tone is amusing in the verses, and once again she ramps it up with her raunchy choruses, striking out both verbally and musically at those who hate on her for her sexuality.

Ultraviolence tones it down towards the end of the album, the gentle piano ballad Old Money, which sounds much like the love song from the original Romeo and Juliet -thus capturing the old era she loves with a beloved classic – calming down to a more simple song of looking back on the past and hoping to be called for once more, whilst using her famed . It’s a thought provoking song that is admittedly quite slow and really you have to be in the mood for it, yet the way her vocals grow in strength and emotion are unmissable once you start listening.

Lana closes the album with a cover of Nina Simone’s The Other Woman, echoing the “mistress” character from Sad Girl in a truly heartbreaking rendition of a song that surely inspired her own music.Though some have felt Lana didn’t do the original song justice, I personally feel Lana put her own emotion and glamour into it so it was made her own, the vintage sound harking back to the mid-twentieth century flawlessly. My only criticism really is that it’s such a sad song I can barely listen to it without feeling blue myself, though that aside it’s a strong track that could be mistaken for one of Lana’s.

Though I tried to be as objective as possible, I have little criticism of this album. It definitely has to be one of her best yet, more grounded than Born To Die or the cinematic Honeymoon with the unflinching emotion and stunning vocals, and what many fans surely would consider Lana at her best.

 

Archaic

via Daily Prompt: Archaic

Once again, I use a prompt post as a way for me to get personal. This blog wasn’t even intended to be a truly personal delve into my thoughts and ideas on life but I couldn’t resist the topic once the prompt was present.

It may not be truly archaic but it almost feels that way now: I don’t feel comfortable with the idea of many sexual partners until you find your true partner.

It is usual in society to freely have sex with people, many often engaging in sexual activity only hours after meeting, with no plans for the future or to even see one another again. These one night stands wouldn’t have been a thing in the past , as a hundred years ago they would have been considered truly shocking and not at all the way to behave. Though I am not yet twenty, I have to agree.

The idea of sleeping with someone who was unwilling to plan their life with me, have children with me or even marry me is repulsive. Why on earth would I share such intimacies with someone who would most likely disappear in the morning only to never be seen again? Why would I allow someone I had no trust for to be with my at my most vulnerable?

Of course, I completely understand why society now is a good thing – the freedom, the feminism, the field work. Who would want to be confined into a tiny box, never allowed to express their sexuality or figure out what kind of person they are? If the person who reads this opposes my opinion and enjoys their sexual freedom, then that’s perfectly fine, I’m not going to insult you. Yet for me, personally, I couldn’t do it. I’m not the kind of person who would willingly expose myself to someone who has no in-depth interest in me or vice versa.

I suppose I’m old fashioned, I’m a prude. Maybe I have too much respect for myself (or too much cynicism towards most people in the world) to consider such actions that are deemed ‘normal’ by today’s standards. I couldn’t allow myself to get my feelings confused and go through the agony of wondering whether or not that person truly wanted me after we have done the deeds, or would have liked me had they considered attempting to get to know me as a person. I couldn’t allow the risk of getting pregnant with someone’s child when they wouldn’t have any interest in children with me or having children at all (my deal breaker). I couldn’t let myself become sick, either, should this person I have no trust or bond with have an illness that could be passed on through sexual intercourse.

I sound morbid but it’s true. There’s too many risks and there’s too many emotions attached, particularly for me as a person who finds it too easy to become emotionally attached. To lighten the tone of my post (my doubts cast towards flings), I prefer to think of it as waiting for the right person. I may be young but I know there are things, and people, that are worth the wait, and I intend to continue to do so rather than give myself so freely all in the name of half an hour of enjoyment.

(I know I sound so cynical but I try to write this as optimistically as I can)

Guilty (a nonsensical, self-indulgent ramble)

via Daily Prompt: Guilty

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If I was to write about all the things I was guilty of, I would easily write a novel. It’s no exaggeration, at least to me, that I have many things to feel guilty of, from past experiences to personal feelings. The easiest thing for me to write about on this blog, without dipping into my inner territories, is writing itself. Writing is the reason why I started this blog, so naturally I lean towards writing about it when I’m not bumbling around trying to figure out what topic to write about.

I am guilty for the abandonment of this blog. For years I’ve dreamed of being a writer, and I started this up to get some practice in, to hopefully somehow get noticed or have a backlog of my creative experiences. I also needed a place to write about the things I love the most – music and movies, along with a few other things along the way.

Admittedly, my writing isn’t it’s best – even this post is a confusing, watery wreck. It’s still shaky, particularly as my regular writing sessions outside of the online world stopped thanks to metaphorical mud being thrown into my creativity’s face. Yet it’s not about how good I am or how I compare to other writers. It’s about being able to take things from my mind, as confusing and weak as they are, and systematically typing them up into something that makes sense.

Since I haven’t been doing that – writing anything at all over many months, let alone regularly – I feel guilt. Not that I’m letting anyone down – my blog is invisible to all but me – but I am letting myself down. I’m letting down my past self by not fulfilling the dreams I had since I was a child. I’m letting my present self down by failing to do what I love. I’m letting my future self down, by not taking the opportunity to write now so I have something to fall back on and be proud of when the time comes.

I have little to say, as this is just something I’ve began to write off the top of my head without planning, but I’m hoping this will be the start of a new path of writing and pushing myself to get better at what I love to do. Perhaps it will stop the feelings that I’m not living up to my potential. After all, I’m the only person who can finish my own guilt.

Lyric Breakdown – Summer of Sam by Lana Del Rey

Like the summer of Sam, back in ‘69

  • Reference to the movie Summer Of Sam, where the main character was killing

I’d be heavenly, deadly on the grind

  • Lana is “heavenly” yet, in opposition, is also “deadly”; Lana is working hard (“on the grind”)

Cause to sing this nice has to be a crime

  • She thinks she has such a great voice that it must surely be something she’ll get in trouble for

I be murdering and murdering ’em

  • She may be metaphorically “murdering” people as she is such a great singer and her voice is so impressive

Like the summer of love back in ’69

  • She is singing about the mid-twentieth when people wanted to ‘make love not war’, which is an era she loves

You can say that I’m yours, but my body is divine

  • Lana doesn’t mind people wanting her but she thinks she is too hot to belong to anyone

I belong to everybody that I walk by

  • Everyone who passes Lana loves her and they all want her to be theirs

Like hi, hi

I’m the master of my destiny

  • Lana has control of herself and her life, so no one can decide for her

You haven’t seen the best of me

  • Lana still has amazing things (possibly music) to come

And if you want the rest of me

You’ll have to pay a lovely fee

  • This could be a reference to her being a stripper or a prostitute, where you have to pay to get more; it could just be a reference to how people must pay for music so if they want more of it they need to pay; Lana loves money so gets it where she can

Hard to stay far, far away from me

  • No one can resist Lana

Cause I am the baddest girl in NYC

  • Lana is back to referencing her high status in New York

You can look but please don’t touch boy

  • She doesn’t mind people giving her attention but she still wants the utmost control of herself

Stay away from me

  • She doesn’t want people getting to close to her, which could be a diva thing or she may just be making sure she gets her way

Baby I’m a cinnamon girl

  • Cinnamon tastes nice (like other sweet flavours) but it’s still spicy and strong, so you have to be careful; it’s also not a completely sweet flavour, much like Lana

Keeping it fresh on the far east side

  • New York is on the east side so she, the ‘queen of New York’ is always up to date from her area of America in terms of style, fashion and trends (particularly in music)

Baby I’m a tenement girl

  • Lana may have lived in the overcrowded housing in New York, showing she is grounded and doesn’t just come from money

Keepin’ it in touch, your cherry pie

  • People want to talk to her; ‘cherry pie’ may be a nickname for her as it’s something sweet and tempting

B-A-D-D-E-S-T, baddest girl in NYC

  • Lana childishly spells out the word, showing her youth and irresponsibility, not to mention linking to the cheerleader theme of Jealous Girl

Baby I’m a dangerous girl

You should stay away from me

  • People should be careful around her or even avoid her altogether as she may cause harm, either literally from her actions or perhaps because she is so great at what she does

I’ve been murdering and murdering ’em
I be murdering and murdering ’em

Like the summer of Sam, back in ’69

I’ll be tying them up, and hang ’em out to dry

  • Lana is tying people in knots (such as how people get tongue-tied around others they admire), so they are getting all mixed up around her; being hung out to dry can mean feeling unfinished and unsatisfied, particularly sexually, so she is not going all the way for those that want her

Cause I’m hot like that when I walk, they die

  • They can’t handle how hot she is when she passes

I be murdering and murdering ’em

Like the summer of love back in ’69

When I get on the microphone my, my

They be looking at each other like ay, ay, ay

  • The people that go to watch her sing look at one another in disbelief and admiration for her

Like bye, bye

  • Despite the way she likes the attention, she still doesn’t want anything to do with them

Please excuse m-my vivacity, capacity for hating

  • She’s apologetic that people find her so brilliant to be around; “capacity for hating” may refer to her own feelings of hatred for those she considers beneath her or her admiration or it could be how people hate her for how great she is (considering she “murders” them)

Cause it’s incredible

It’s better if you stay away from me

I know it’s hard, hard to stay far, far away from me

  • She knows people can’t resist her but she insists they don’t come near her or even try to handle her greatness

I am the baddest girl in NYC

You can look but please don’t touch

CHORUS

I’ve been murdering and murdering ’em

Happily

  • She enjoys how people react to her

Murdering and murdering ’em ah, ah

Murdering and murdering ’em

I’m diggable, predicatable

  • “Diggable” refers to how other people understand her, so people can relate to her on some kind of level; people also know what kind of person she is and the kind of things they do, most likely because they like to watch what she does

No, everyone knows all my people

  • Her friends and possibly other people she works with are all well-known and famous

I’ll give you a fistful

  • It could mean a fistful of money, since she may be making so much she can give it away, though it’s more likely to be how she is going to be violent; she’s threatening them to keep them away from her or to show how much of a “tenement girl” she is

You know you’ll be in a fight

  • They’ll either fight her or fight over her

Unmissable, invincible, behaviour is despicable

  • She does things no one should miss because that’s how exciting she is; she’s “invincible”, hence though she does dangerous things she cannot be hurt; her “despicable” behaviour (much like the “murdering” and the “fistful”) shows she’s a bad girl

If you’re lookin’ for fun you can come out with me tonight

  • She knows all the enjoyable things to do

I am the baddest girl in NYC

I am the baddest, ya liking what you see? Yup!

  • Even though Lana asks the question, she knows the answer as she knows everyone admires her

CHORUS

Lyric Breakdown – Making Out by Lana Del Rey

Hiya, honey

  • Her informal greeting sets the tone for the song – she’s a young, wild girl who likes to have fun

What ya doin’?

I been hula-hoopin’ waiting for you, aah

  • Hula-hooping is something quite young children do, so she is still young and has no responsibility; she’s been waiting for this person so she knows who they are

Whoa haters, fakers, mass-manipulators

Don’t know what you’re tryin’ to prove

  • She can’t understand people who don’t act themselves – she does what she wants without thinking about how she looks or what people think of her, so she criticises those who hate on her, pretend to be something else or lie for their own gain

I’m the New York City queen queen

  • Lana has referenced being the queen of New York and other variations of such a title, and she doesn’t feel bad about who she is and the way she feels about herself

You should hear me sing sing

Baby I’m the real thing, check one two

  • Lana knows of her own talent and that she has something real rather than, say, autotuned

Stop looking at my train-wreck life and start

Listening to the way I sing the blues

  • Lana is troubled and has a lot of things going on that are a “train-wreck” (possibly drugs, her alcoholism, the trailer park, her frequent allusions to being a stripper/prostitute) but wants people to focus on her music

You know, I know what they say about me

I know that they think I’m danger

  • People know that these things (listed above) make her into a wild and possibly bad-influence, and she is aware that people may be wary of her for that

So what if it makes me happy, happy, happy?

  • Lana likes being “danger” and having a wild life, as she loves being the ‘gangsta Nancy Sinatra’; she likes the way she comes across and possibly standing out

It doesn’t really matter what you say

‘Cause I ain’t gonna quit ’til the day I die

  • Lana is herself and she won’t change just because people are talking about her

I’ll be taking drugs, doing shots, making out in parking lots

  • Lana does all of these wild things that people tend to look down on because she loves it; she wants to be who she is; she descends her order of bad things she does, most likely using the worst (“drugs”) to be shocking

With any little boy I spot

  • The boys are “little” to her so she doesn’t think much of them

Baby you can’t stop me, stop me, no

When I’m hot, I’m hot

  • She’s too hot to stop, which could mean if you try and stop her you’ll get burned (metaphorically), though in the literal sense she’s a beautiful young woman that may be considered cool

Hi ya honey

How’s it goin’?

Saw you skipping up on TV looking blue aah

  • She’s speaking to someone she knows who made it famous but seems to be unhappy

You’re shakin’, makin’ music and you’re famous

  • This girl she knows is a dancer and a singer, possibly like her; this girl reflects Lana herself

Deep down you’re the same girl I knew

  • The girl hasn’t changed, the same way Lana may not change when she becomes well-known

She said, “I know what they say about you

  • The girl she knew tells her that she is aware of Lana’s reputation

I know that they think you’re crazy

I know that they are mistaken, baby, baby”

  • The girl still knows the real Lana and doesn’t think she is what everyone says; the criticisms of her behaviour don’t mean Lana is actually a bad person

CHORUS

Singing for the gangsters

  • Lana likes the bad boys and the gangsters so she wants to perform for them – and possibly with them – so her music is aimed at that kind of audience

Chasin’ all that paper

  • She wants to earn a lot of money

Living life so dangerously

  • She’ll do all the dangerous things even if it may end up killing her

And there’s nothing for my anger

  • Lana’s a very passionate person and she can’t get rid of her aggression (which does link to her “singing for the gangsters” lyric of how they often have aggressive music and she may write that kind of music too); she doesn’t try to hide her anger, she is uncontrollable

Money is my saviour

  • Lana loves money because it can get her out of bad positions

I can be whatever I think

  • Lana wants to be what she wants without people’s opinions

It’s like heaven heaven

  • Though it’s dangerous, it’s still her idea of heaven, which her actions very much oppose

Living on the edge never knowing where I’m going to be

  • Lana hasn’t got any responsibilities or ties; she doesn’t have her life planned out

And I’m dreading, never settling down

  • The possible meaning is secretly she is dreading never being sensible or planning her future properly as a responsible person, though she may just be pointing out she is “never settling down”

That’s when dying is beginning to please

  • “Dying is beginning to please” could actually mean “becoming older (being responsible) is something people actually enjoy” – meaning when you settle down, you feel happy that you’re a mature adult living a life that keeps going until you get old and die; she may be “dreading” never having the feeling of that; she refers to getting old as “dying” because she has a pessimistic view of no longer being free

CHORUS


Lyric Breakdown – Best American Record by Lana Del Rey

My baby used to dance underneath my architecture

  • This could have a double meaning, the first being sex (he would “dance) (move about sexually) beneath her body (”architecture”)); the other meaning could be he used to “dance” (be wild, free and happy) beneath her “architecture” (stability), meaning he was a wild person supported by her

To the ‘Houses of the Holy’

  • Houses of the Holy is an album by Led Zeppelin

Smoking on them cigarettes

My baby used to dance underneath my architecture

He was cool as heck

He was cool as heck

  • He was a cool guy, clearly because he used to write music and be a performer and guitar player, so Lana did admire him

But you were so obsessed with writing the next best American record

  • This person just wanted to be famous for his creativity, most likely for the importance and money rather than the music

But there was nothing left by the time we got to bed

  • There was so much time spent on his goal that he neglected Lana and was too tired to even be with her sexually

Baby that’s a shame

  • She did really like him and doesn’t feel happy that it ended

You were so obsessed with writing the next best American record

You did it all for fame

You did it all for fame

You did it all for fame

  • She repeats many phrases to emphasise what she’s trying to say, such as “he was cool as heck” (showing how cool she thought he was), the architecture line which indicates how he was taken care of by her, the best American record line which highlights the exact issue, and now “you did it all for fame” which points out his major flaw, particularly from a genuine artist perspective

Tell me how it treats you now

  • She wants to know how he feels now his plan has fallen through, and is feeling quite bitter that he destroyed what they had for nothing

You did it all for fame

How does that taste coming out

  • She is bitter but now he no longer wears the rose-tinted glasses when thinking of his own music, realising how badly he has fallen

You did it all for fame

Baby, how’s life treating you now

It’s over

  • Both his dream and the relationship are done; he can have neither

My baby used to dance underneath my architecture

He was seventies in spirit; nineties in his frame of mind

  • The seventies was a time of freedom and creativity (music really stood out in that era), so he was a carefree, peace-loving man with brilliant talent; the nineties was a period of drugs and other quite negative things, so though his spirit is great he has a broken mind

My baby used to dance underneath my architecture

We lost track of space

We lost track of time

  • They were caught up in their own world and it went beyond basic laws of science – it was good

PRE-CHORUS

(You know what I’m talking about)

  • Lana’s whisper is on a more personal level rather than the singing, as she’s actually speaking; she addresses the person she is talking about by actually saying the words and helping them realise what happened, though may also be talking to the fans who have had (maybe) a similar experience; it makes the words more real

You did it all for fame

Tell me how it treats you now

You did it all for fame

How does that taste coming out

Now that you lost the game

  • He tried to get his music out and see if he would write the best American record or not, but in the end he failed and “lost the game”, meaning he is now a loser

Honey, how’s life treating you now

That it’s over

Baby, how you feeling now

That I told you

It’s true

All the roads lead to you

  • Lana’s thinking about how everywhere she goes, she is going towards him, as everything reminds her of him and she always finds her way back to him despite what he’s done

Everything I want and do

  • Even her desires and actions lead back to him, so she is subconsciously trying to keep him in her life

All the things that I say

It’s true

All the roads lead to you

Like the 405 I drive through

  • An interstate based around LA; she travels it often and it perhaps leads straight to his location; she maybe drives on it on purpose to be near him

Every night and every day

  • She’s always on that road, which is possibly a metaphor for how she is always wanting him

I see you for who you really are

  • She knows he is selfish and wants only the best for himself rather than caring for her, yet it could also mean she can understand that he is a great musician and why he believes in himself so much

Why the thousands of girls

  • He has many groupies who adore him

Love the way Bill plays guitar

  • Bill is mentioned in several other songs and may be a real person from her life; these girls love his music; Lana can understand that because she knows he is a good musician

CHORUS

Honey, how is it feeling now?

(Honey, how’s it feeling?, Honey, how’s it feeling?)

  • She’s almost mocking him, repeating the question as now he has made her feel bad by putting himself first, and his failure has made him feel as bad as her

I told you

  • She told him previously that he was selfish, and even that he shouldn’t be unprepared for failure, but he ignored her, so now she is reminding him that she tried to help

(Honey, how’s it feeling?, Honey, how’s it feeling?)

I told you